


Six Years Later

by bluwinterflower



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/M, Future Fic, Heartbreak, M/M, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 14:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7577428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluwinterflower/pseuds/bluwinterflower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Robert found it ironic. Everyone had always warned Aaron about him and how he was going to break his heart; no one had ever thought to do the reverse."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Six Years Later

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something that popped into my head because I can't help myself. This my first time posting so just a little nervous.

            _Homecoming_

            It was snowing for once on actual Christmas Day – a rarity in Emmerdale. Robert looked around at the village, noting how picturesque it all looked under the snow. Chimneys billowing smoke from the little brick cottages. How warm and cozy it must have all looked to someone else. But Robert knew better. Robert knew that in every inch, every crack of this miserable place was hurt and heartbreak and someone’s blood. Even the pub, The Woolpack, had managed to kill somebody in its time.

            “So are you planning on leaving the car, or are we going to spend all of Christmas in the Audi. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice car, very…comfy. But I think your sister will be a little unhappy with you.” Caroline’s words jolted Robert out of his brooding. He turned and smiled at her, taking her hand and squeezing it.

            “It’s just been so long since I’ve been back.” It had actually been nearly six years since Robert had been back in the village. He hadn’t planned on ever coming back, but Vic had been bugging him for years about coming for Christmas dinner. Since this was the last year he’d be in England for Christmas, Robert figured he’d make Vic happy just this once.

            “It’s okay to be nervous. I know how hard it must be to come back. But I for one am dead excited to meet your family. Especially Vic who sounded quite lovely on the phone.” It was days like today that Robert was grateful he had met Caroline all those years ago. She calmed him down, always knew what he was thinking, and never judged him. Truthfully, Robert had never thought he’d settle down again after everything that had happened, but Caroline made him feel okay again. Okay enough to put a big diamond on her finger.

            “Shall we then?” Robert sighed and opened the car. He and Caroline stood in front of the all too familiar door of Vic and Adam’s house hand in hand. Reluctantly he knocked.

            Almost immediately a very dirty, apron clad Vic answered the door. Vic looked almost as shocked as Robert looked nervous. “Rob, oh my god, I can’t believe you actually came.” Vic threw herself into his arms, and as Robert tightly hugged his sister, he knew it was the right decision to come back no matter what. “And you must be Caroline. It is so nice to finally meet you in person!” Vic quickly hugged Caroline as well, beaming that her brother was finally home. “Well come in come in, you must be freezin’.”

            Robert entered his old home and was shocked by how much had changed, but he guessed that was what happened when there were three children running around.

            “UNCLE ROBERT.” Before he even had a chance to get his bearings he was attacked by his niece and two nephews. It was Ruby, the only girl, and the oldest that had seen him first. He had made it a priority to make sure they always came to see him down in London despite his reluctance to come back to Emmerdale specifically.

            “Hey Ruby. Happy Christmas.”

            “So did you bring presents?” Robert smiled at his niece. She looked more like Adam than Vic, but that smirk was all Sugden. “And who are you?”

            Caroline bent down to get on eye level with the five-year-old, and said, “I’m Caroline, your Uncle Robert’s fiancée. So I guess I’m kind of your Aunt.” Ruby looked Caroline up and down assessing whether or not she looked worthy to be a Sugden.

            “You’re pretty so I guess you’re all right,” Ruby finally said.

            Caroline smiled back and Robert was grateful she had his approval. Michael and Derek, the twins, clumsily walked over to Caroline and hugged her as well.

            Robert turned to Vic and asked, “They got so big since the last time I saw them.”

            “I know, they’re both doin’ me head in.”

            “Proper little terrors aren’t they? How old are they gonna be?”

            “They’re two on the fifth. Adam always jokes they were the best present he could have gotten for Aaron’s thirtieth.” At the mention of him, Robert felt his knees to shake. Victoria realizing her mistake quickly apologized.

             “Is – is he in the village today?” Robert quietly asked. Caroline was occupied by the children, but he still didn’t want her to know he was interested. Caroline knew the whole story, but it still wasn’t the kind of thing you wanted your fiancée to hear.

              Victoria looked at him peculiarly, surprised at how vulnerable he still seemed to be. “I think they’re all up at Lisa’s for today. Adam’s there now to see his mum and then he’ll be back here for dinner. Look if, if you wanted to talk to him, I’m sure he’d be up for it-”

              “Why would I want to do that?” Robert quickly spat back.

              Victoria sighed and went to the stove to check on the roast. “I’m just sayin’ that a little bit of closure after all these years could do you both some good. He’s asks about you sometimes ya know?”

             Victoria’s statement caught Robert off guard. “I just don’t want to see him all right. I’m here to spend some time with my family. Where’s Andy?”

             “Oh he’s up at Lisa’s today as well with Debbie and the kids. He misses Sarah now that she’s off at University. Who knew our Sarah would end up at a place like Cambridge. Smart little bugger.”

             “Well she must get our brains from our side,” Robert laughed, taking in the opportunity to insult the Dingle family.

              Robert walked over to Caroline, placed a hand on her shoulder, and sat on the couch behind her. Ruby jumped on the couch and took the opportunity to cuddle into Robert’s arms. “I like blue on you.” Robert smiled as Ruby complemented his sweater. It wasn’t lost on him that he chosen to wear this jumper of all the jumper’s he owned. This blue sweater that he kept all these years later. A full decade later. Had it really been ten years since his life changed the way it had? Since that fateful phone call he’d made in a layby?

             “Vic, you better set a few extra places.” Robert heard Adam’s voice come into the room as the door opened. Two children, one looked to be about three or four, and the other looked to be the twins age, came rambling into the room.

            “Adam why?” Victoria shouted as she was in the kitchen.

             Robert looked curiously at the children, knowing in his gut whose they were. Robert didn’t want to look up and see if he was right.

             “Lisa’s was a little bit crowded so I brought some guest- Robert?” Adam’s voice trailed off as he realized what he’d just done.

             “Adam.” Robert quietly said and finally looked up to see his suspicions confirmed. He was standing beside Adam, a little bit older, still sporting that beard and overly gelled hair. He had aged well and Robert wanted to kick himself for even thinking that. He was staring at him with an open mouth, because while Robert had prepared for this, Aaron had been completely blindsided.

             Caroline, sensing Robert’s unease got up and went over to the three gentleman in the room. “You must be Adam, it’s so nice to finally meet you. I’m Caroline.” 

            Adam took Caroline’s hand and shook his head as if he was out of his trance. “Right nice to meet you too. Welcome to Emmerdale.” Caroline then turned her attention to the two other men.  

            “Caroline.” She held her hand out in front of Aaron, playing dumb like she didn’t know exactly who is was and what he once was to Robert.

          “Aaron. Adam’s best mate. And this is Graham.” Caroline sweetly smiled and shook the tall, dark haired man’s hand. Robert had forgotten how attractive Graham was. It hurt too much to think about it. “My husband.” That word cut Robert’s heart still.

            Robert had never asked about if the two of them had stayed together, but he distinctly remembered Victoria mentioning a friend’s wedding a couple of years ago.  When he had asked who was getting married, she had refused to say.

            At least the affair that broke up his and Aaron’s relationship had lasted and even resulted in kids.

            “And who are you?” Graham asked in his smooth, salesman voice. Robert forgot how much he hated it.

            “Robert’s fiancée of course.” Caroline sweetly smiled. Robert was sure he was never more grateful to have Caroline in his life.

            Robert couldn’t help but smile as he noticed Aaron’s face scrunch at the word fiancée. “You know what we should go back to Lisa’s maybe. You probably don’t have enough food anyway-”

            “Nonsense,” Victoria immediately said. “There’s room for everyone and we are all going to have a _nice_ Christmas dinner. Understand?” They all nodded their heads reluctantly.

            Robert still hadn’t moved from his spot on the couch, too stuck to even think about speaking to either of them. Instead he focused on the little girl with bright blue eyes and brown curly hair playing with Ruby. She was the kid Robert himself had once fantasized about having with Aaron. But that had come to a halt when Aaron had left him for Graham. Robert snorted to supposing that karma had finally caught up with him. Payback for all the nasty things he’d done in his life.

            “All right then dinner’s ready, everyone come sit,” Victoria cheerily stated, excited at the prospect of Aaron and her brother finally talking.

 

***

             Five minutes of complete silence had passed, with only the scraping of forks and knives to fill the air. Robert could feel Aaron’s eyes boring into him, but Robert refused to look back. Caroline was gripping his knee underneath the table, just to get him to stop fidgeting.  But Robert continued to pretend that Vic’s roast was as beautiful as Klimt’s _The Kiss_ and dared not to look at either Aaron or Graham.

           “So Caroline,” Vic started, “How did an American like you end up in the UK?”

           “I, um, studied at the London School of Economics after I completed my university degree. And then I got offered a job consulting in the UK and just never left,” Caroline said. 

            Robert never liked to think about when he met Caroline. It was when he had first moved to London and was a proper mess. Well definitely a proper drunk. It was at a seedy little bar that had mostly University students, but Robert didn’t care. As long as they served alcohol. He had seen Caroline from across the room, speaking with some other of her friends that were too young for him. The accent had attracted him to her at first and her boisterous laugh. But he was much too drunk and threw up on her and her bag. Robert was lucky she found it amusing and let him crash on his couch. That had been the beginning of their long friendship. They didn’t start dating till after being friends for four years.

           “Wow. That’s amazing. How’d you bag someone so smart Rob?” Adam joked.

           For the first time Robert decided to speak. He looked up and put on his signature Sugden smirk. “Well what can I say. I’m a very lucky and charming man.” It hadn’t escaped Caroline’s notice that Robert looked at Aaron as he said that.

            “So,” Caroline interjected, “Graham what do you do then?”

             “I am a real estate developer down in Leeds actually. So I buy properties renovate them, and resell them.”

              “And you Aaron, what about you?” Caroline stared him down, playing the part of naive girlfriend perfectly. Robert wasn’t sure what she was playing at, but even he wanted to see what happened.

             “I um, work at a garage down the road from our house part time. But mostly I stay at home with the kids,” Aaron said unsurely. Robert snorted.

             Graham laughed back, “Do you have a problem with that Robert?” It took everything he had in him to not lunge across the table and choke the life out of Graham.

              “No. I just never pegged Aaron for the daddy type. Just surprising that’s all.”

             Aaron finally spoke back. “Well I am now. So shut it Robert.” Hearing his name on his lips again was too much. Too many memories of the fights and the makeups. His named screamed out from those lips in bed and whispered in his ear.

              Victoria desperate to not let the situation escalate stepped in. “So Caroline, Rob, when’s the wedding? And where?”

              “In the next couple of months and most likely London or else we were thinking Portugal. Right babe?”

              Robert replied, “Yeah Lagos perhaps. Somewhere on the coast. Don’t worry Vic I’ll let you know.”

             “Well hopefully the day is less morbid than your first wedding, no? And that the marriage lasts longer than your first one.” As the words fell from Graham’s lips, Robert dropped the silverware he was holding.

              “Graham my children are in the room. Don’t start anything,” Adam warned.

               Graham smiled back. “Don’t worry Adam. No need to dredge up the past.” Robert smiled as he realized Adam hated Graham even more than he had once hated Robert.

              “Well I plan on being Mrs. Sugden for the rest of my life. So there’s nothing to worry about then is there?”

             Robert smiled and kissed her on the cheek. He really was done, too exhausted to keep looking for someone to stop him from being truly alone.

              “Figures.” It was muttered under his breath, but Robert heard him.

              “I’m sorry Aaron, what did you say? Didn’t think I’d quite heard ya there.” He felt it, that anger rising in him. The one that he had suppressed all those years ago. He hadn’t been _that_ man for a long time, and he supposed he had Aaron to thank for that, but occasionally there would be just a glimmer of his old ways.

              “I didn’t say anything. Just not surprised you’d end up with a missus again after all these years.” There it was. Robert had finally come to terms with his bisexuality after a long struggle, but it had always been a sore spot with Aaron.

            “I love Caroline very much so that’s really all there is to this conversation. Of course we all know how insecure you can be about your own relationships. Tell me Graham have you ever worked really late and he just jumped down your throat and accused you of cheating?” Robert smirked, not caring who he hurt anymore. Because at the end of it he had been the most hurt.

           “I don’t know Robert. Is your favorite hobby still winding people up?” Graham asked.

            “Is yours still stealing people’s fiancés? Cause if so let me know so I don’t leave you alone with Caroline. Better watch out Aaron he might run off with her.” At this point no one said anything and Robert was seeing red. He quickly got up and threw his napkin down. “I need some air.” With that he rushed out the door leaving everyone speechless.

            Victoria, as usual, was the first to try to mitigate the situation. “I’ll just go find him - ”

           “Victoria sit down.” Started by Caroline's demand and harsh ton, Victoria slowly sank back to her seat. “The only person who’s going to go talk to him is you.” Caroline pointed at Aaron whose face wasn’t really giving away anything.

            “Me? You knew this whole time about-”

           “What about the affair and subsequent relationship, engagement, and betrayal between you and Robert? Of course I fucking knew Aaron. I’m not stupid.”

            “Children in the room. Language,” Victoria said.

            “I never said you were-”

            “Shut up Aaron. When I met Robert he was a mess. Because of you. He was drunk and broken and it took years to fix what you and Graham did to him. Four years, an engagement, and you didn’t even have the balls to tell him in person? You just left a note like a coward?”

             "You weren’t there.”

             Caroline shook her head, getting angrier at Aaron. “You destroyed him. Now, you’re going to get out there and have the conversation you should have had six years ago.”

               Aaron looked at Graham and got up to go face what he should have been brave enough to face years ago.

 

***

              Robert had made his way out back kicking piles of snow, trying to get his anger out in any way he could. He hadn’t bothered to grab his jacket but he’d rather plow through the cold then go back in there.

             Robert supposed it was himself he was most mad at. He really thought he would have been less bitter. But it seemed that Aaron had a occupied a place in his heart no matter what.

          “You left your jacket. Figured you’d want it.” Robert didn’t turn around, but Aaron walked in front of him shoving the leather jacket in his face. Robert reluctantly accepted the gesture and put on the coat.

          The two of them both stood there facing each other, the first time they had been alone in six years. Robert was waiting it out, waiting to hear what his excuse was.

          “You never called me back.” But he caved. Aaron was never one for a lot of words anyway.  

          Aaron bit his lip, the way that used to drive Robert insane. “I know. I should have. It was wrong. But I was too-”

          “Too what Aaron.”

          “Ashamed.” Robert raised his eyebrows in surprise at the word. “I couldn’t face ya. I couldn’t face how I was going to hurt you.”

          “Whether you were gonna face it or not, you still hurt me.”

          “I know and I am so sorry for what I did Robert. You have to believe me. I never wanted things to get as bad as they did.” Robert did believe him, on some base level. Aaron was a terrible liar and even Robert in that moment couldn’t deny his sincerity. Aaron moved a step closer to Robert trying to stand next to him. Robert quickly walked away, not wanting to be too close. Too scared of how electric it all still felt.

          Robert began to pace as the snow fell gently. Aaron just stared at Robert watching and realized how much he looked like an angel. “Are you happy?” Robert asked.

          Aaron scrunched his face confused by the question and the trajectory of the conversation. “I am.” Robert wasn’t sure if that was the answer he wanted to hear. He had hoped, some small part of him that Aaron regretted the decision he made all those years ago. But he also knew he couldn’t bear knowing Aaron had been as unhappy as he had been. Caroline had singlehandedly put him back together. “Are you happy Robert?”

          “Now I am. I guess.” Robert moved back to stand next to Aaron and leaned on the house next to him. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I like London a lot and Caroline’s from New York so we might move there once we’re married. I – I really do love her.”

          “I really am glad for ya Robert. I never wanted to destroy your life the way I did.”

          “What? Like I had destroyed yours?” Robert found it ironic. Everyone had always warned Aaron about him and how he was going to break his heart; no one had ever thought to do the reverse.

          “You didn’t destroy my life.” Robert shook his head. “I loved you so much Robert and a part of me always will. I don’t regret a single minute we were together.”

          “So why?” Robert hadn’t noticed he was crying till he heard his voice crack. “I thought we were happy. When I left for that business trip, and I kissed you goodbye that morning. God there was never even a doubt in my mind about the two of us. I was blindsided Aaron. I thought I was coming home to my fiancé, and instead I come home to a note and all of your stuff and Liv’s stuff gone.”

          “And that was wrong. I just thought it would be easier if it was all gone. So you wouldn’t have to watch it.”

          “It wasn’t.” Usually it was Aaron that cried in these situations. But today, today Robert felt he deserved that space.

          “I really did love you. Even when I left I loved you. But we were never going to be compatible long term. It was too volatile a relationship for us to ever think it was going to last.”

          “But you could have talked to me. We could have worked through it. That’s what you’re supposed to do when you’re in love. When two people are in love. They face anything together.” Robert was pleading at this point. Something to make sense of why the last six years of his life had gone the way they did.

          “I know. Robert I really did love you. But I fell in love with someone else too.” The world went blurry as Robert heard the words he’d been dreading to hear . “And it wasn’t a physical affair, not like what it was with Chrissie. It just started out that we were friends. And then I started confiding in him more and more until-”

          “That’s enough,” Robert said, his voice low and gravely. He slid to the ground not caring his pants would get wet from the snow. He ran a hand over his face trying to get his bearings straight. “I was done. I met you and when we finally got together I knew I wouldn’t need anybody else to make me happy. After everything with Chrissie and your Dad and Liv. I was done. I had a family. I was truly happy. Totally content. Why wasn’t I enough?” Robert’s body wracked with sobs as Chrissie’s voice echoed in his head. He vaguely recalled her saying something very similar to that when his affair with Aaron had come out.

          Aaron sat down next to him, almost touching him but not quite. “Is it too cliché to say love isn’t enough sometimes?” Robert heard the cracks in Aaron’s voice. It made it harder for him to resent Aaron. Harder when he knew Aaron felt so much too. “We had a good couple of years. But after Graham and our children, Robert we couldn’t have raised a family together. You aren’t made for a quiet life. Look at ya moving to America. Me. Yorkshire, the dales, the farms, it was all always going to be enough for me. It was never going to be enough for you. And I knew that deep down. And as much as it hurt both me and you. It was the right decision to leave.”

          “I don’t understand.” Robert started to wipe away the tears now that he’d calmed down. “Even after all this time. And everything you did to hurt me. Why? Why is it that I still love you Aaron?” It had always been there. Robert knew it was why he’d picked Caroline. She was the girl he loved the most but Robert knew it was because no other man could ever compare to Aaron. So he’d chosen the best girl he could. A girl he loved because nothing about her smooth skin reminded him of Aaron’s rough beard. And nothing about sex with Caroline was like sex with Aaron. She was talkative and funny and bright and not grumpy. Robert had picked her because nothing could remind him of Aaron.

          Aaron sighed and placed his hand on Robert’s knee. He then placed his other hand on Robert’s cheek and wiped away a tear. Robert just stared back at his bright blue eyes, frozen still by his touch. And before Robert could register what was happening, Aaron leaned in and delicately placed his lips to his. Robert relished the feeling of Aaron’s beard and the feeling of his hands on his body. But Aaron quickly pulled away, still keeping his hand on his knee and face.

          “You will always mean so much to me. But I have a husband and a family. And you have a fiancée.” Robert’s vision began to blur as a new set of tear welled up. “Now I’m going to go back inside and go back to Lisa’s. And I promise that you’ll never have to see me again. Okay? Cause I think that’s the only way either of us is going to be happy. It’s also the only way either of us is going to have a marriage that will last.” Robert nodded, unable to speak. Aaron slowly got up, wiping away the snow from his legs.

          Aaron began to approach the backdoor but he stopped for a second and turned back around. “And Robert. I still love you too.” With that Aaron disappeared back in the house, the last time Robert would probably ever see him. At least for a long while. And even through all the tears and pain and the last six years, those words still brought a genuine grin to Robert Sudgen’s face.

**Author's Note:**

> I envisioned this as a one-shot, but I may want to write more. Not sure yet.


End file.
